Your Gifts of Imperfection

Thanks to Valentine's Day, February is the month of "hallmark" love...at least to a majority of the population. Personally, it's never been high on my radar as a reason to celebrate anything, especially love. Maybe I'm just a bah-humbug when it comes to that. In my opinion (and I'm by no means a professional!), a person can't genuinely love someone else without first loving themself. I believe this so much so that I got it tattooed on me - "I am my own before I am ever anyone else's". When you truly love yourself...and all of your imperfections...you are untouchable!

It wouldn't take me more than 5 minutes to compile a list of at least 10 of my own personal imperfections! I've read the above-mentioned titled book by Brene Brown. I own it! And that was some of the most impactful reading that I've ever done to influence my life. Granted, it was recommended to me by my therapist at the time and I was going through probably the most emotional battle of my life, but I attribute much of my inner strength to those pages. I would like to share some of those key ideas with you on your journey to self-love.

The first concept is Authenticity. It is probably engrained in our DNA to live a life that is authentic to who we are as an individual, but it's one of those things that is usually easier said than done! You see, living an authentic life isn't a quality you have or develop - it's a choice...a choice you have to make daily. It requires courage to speak your mind to others, protect your personal boundaries, and even allow yourself to be vulnerable. It's a challenge, and we can sometimes be our own worst enemy. In making this choice to be authentic, we also develop compassion. Compassion for ourselves, and (more importantly) compassion for others who are struggling with the same issues as us.

Another principle I picked up from the reading was based on Gratitude. And boy, has that theme resounded in my life ever since!? Most people think of gratitude as the feeling that follows positive experiences or events. In reality, it is another CHOICE that ultimately fosters happiness. What this really means is that joy isn't just the "accidental" result of an external event that we hold no control over. Actually, we actively CHOOSE joy by practicing gratitude (whether we realize it or not). In the ordinary day-to-day, true joy or gratitude may not be something we find awareness of without some major event happening. It makes the CHOICE harder to find and make. I find that starting the day with a little bit of gratitude really sets the tone for the day. Before your feet hit the ground, try and list 5 things that you are grateful for - see how you feel throughout the day. I bet you'd be surprised at how quickly you find gratitude every day, even on the bad days!

The saying "let your freak flag fly" isn't something 'dirty' to me. When I think of that idiom, I interpret it to mean be who you are, and be proud! Learning to embrace who we are as creative individuals is another key takeaway. Comparing ourselves to others is a natural tendency too which we are all guilty. What ultimately happens when we measure ourselves against our neighbors is that we end up ridding ourselves of the very qualities that make us unique. As individuals, we are all at different points in our career, our relationship status, our family life, and our physical AND mental health. On the journey of life, these are all side trails that almost all people have to take (forgive my hiking analogy). We start those journeys at different times. Sometimes a spur trail comes from the side trail (divorce, career change, etc.).

With the growing presence of social media, the pressure to present ourselves as cool (trendsetters with adventurous lives and without a care in the world) has never been stronger. The desire to be "cool" is what actually ends up isolating us from other people. Our connection to other humans is our life line - and the best way to nurture these connections is through laughter, song, and dancing. It's those three activities that create the emotional and spiritual connection to those around us...and allow us to not feel alone.

In my experience, what you put out into the world is what you'll get back. Coupled with that, your internal "vibrations" are going to attracted those people with same level of vibrations. But vibrations aren't natural - it's an active awareness of your choices and overall outlook. Sure, there are tools in the community to help tune your vibrations (it's an amazing benefit of Reiki therapy!), but centering your focus on your internal vibrations will have an insurmountable influence on the people (and things) you attract to your circle.

Ultimately, in this day and age where so many outside influences play a role on our mental and physical health, and sometimes wreak havoc on our ability to love ourselves - this year, I encourage you to CHOOSE YOU! Place boundaries in the areas of your life that tend to take the forefront (and no, I'm not suggesting throw your responsibilities to the wind). Make time for yourself so you can get back to being your authentic you. Explore your creative side. Do the thing(s) you've been putting off because you don't feel like you're good enough. So what if it doesn't work out, you tried - and that's a win in my book! Surround yourself with people who live and think the way you want to grow - their vibrations will help you tune yours. Get rid of the toxic relationships that leave you feeling drained and empty, and questioning why they are even a part of your life. It's hard to do, but so freeing in the end!

Remember, you are your own before you are ever anyone else's. Love yourself for who you are today, and who you are becoming. Who you were doesn't even matter. Live joyfully by finding gratitude in the little moments, even the ones you don't think matter. Be your authentic self - the honest truth, that's the best version of you!